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It's been a while, but sometimes life gets busy or throws you curveballs and other things occupy your mind. This has been my past few weeks; many great times, many down times, and through it all, God is faithful. The Lord has been speaking a lot to my heart lately, so much that it's hard to wrap my mind around it.

One of the biggest things He's been telling me is to not squander the gifts and lessons He's given to me; to not hold back from other's what they need to hear because of fear I may offend; to be straightforward; to be His hands and feet in action- to put action behind these words I often speak or write. To basically give myself away completely. This has shaken me up, challenged me, frustrated me, and excited me. If God has trusted me with these things and I don't give them away then... what's the use of my heart pumping blood through my veins? Why should my chest rise and fall 30-60 times a minute?

So, here's the deal- whatever I write, I write for you, not for me, not to build up a soapbox, not to boost an ego, not to build up some kind of facade- for you. I write because I feel an aching in my bones to release the truths I've learned. I feel a burden on my chest to let out everything inside of me, to let it all be laid bare in order for others to profit, and that I may learn from those around me. This is all coming from a place of brokenness...a place where we are all equal, all weighed down with our imperfections in front of a perfect God. I'm at the point where I would rip the heart out of my chest and freely give a piece of it away to everyone I come in contact with- not to achieve some sort of recognition or sainthood, but to fulfill the calling my Father has placed upon me. (and really, what He asks all of us to do).

It's just...weird. I have never felt so much aching love for the people around me than I have this past week. I never thought I was capable of loving God or myself, let alone other human beings- especially strangers. But man...my heart just feels so full with the love that seeks to escape from within, and it also aches with the pain I feel for others.

From now on, I do this for you. You and God. Even if I don't know you, it's for you. My life isn't mine, it never has been- and I'm really starting to get that. So take any piece of me you want. If there's anything you can gain, pick it up and carry it with you. And all the glory...all the glory is due to our Heavenly Father, who apart from Him, none of this matters or has value.